It depends on your definition of 'brutal'. Honesty is a virtue, and sometimes circumstance makes the experience of honesty painful.
But to be deliberately hurtful in the application of honesty does not lessen truth, but it IS cruel. Like so many other things, it is the intention behind honesty that makes the difference.
Mmm, and I understand that. This all relates to an entry I posted not too long ago about a friend of mine where I felt that I was being brutally honest about some of this person's habits (among other things) and while this person couldn't see it, the people on my F-list, including several people who also know her in RL, could.
I received an email from a mutual friend this morning, a mutual friend who is also on my F-list, chiding (not all and all out scolding) me for being unkind for posting said entry behind my friend's back. And yes, in retrospect it was unkind for me to do it behind my friend's back, but the honesty (or at least what I feel is honesty, but that could merely be my own point of view) behind it hasn't changed.
I don't want to be cruel to this person, mostly that goes against my nature, but I feel that perhaps a little cruelty might just open my friend's eyes. A sentiment of being "cruel to be kind" to help this person realize that no matter how much we may wish it not to be true, things do change. And that the real world is not always going to be nice and pleasant.
I never meant to be deliberately unkind by posting that entry. It was mostly just to vent the frustration I feel towards my friend. Perhaps that's a sign to dig out my diary (it's floating around the spare bedroom somewhere) and write those kinds of thoughts there because while there are "private" areas of the Internet, it's not ALL private.
You can vent with an audience, but you have to be very careful about what you say. You can say whatever you like in a diary where no one else can read it, or a room where no one can hear you. You can always say whatever you like to yourself.
It is venting if, when you are done speaking, you feel better. And when you are done venting you are done, and you don't need to say any of it again.
It is dwelling if you feel the same way you did when you started, or if you feel angrier/more frustrated/worse. When you dwell you repeat yourself, or paraphrase, and cover the same topic over and over.
Venting is very healthy and people should do it whenever they feel the need (and the venue is appropriate). Dwelling is not.
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mercy_angel_09) wrote2009-08-22 08:35 pm
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But to be deliberately hurtful in the application of honesty does not lessen truth, but it IS cruel. Like so many other things, it is the intention behind honesty that makes the difference.
no subject
I received an email from a mutual friend this morning, a mutual friend who is also on my F-list, chiding (not all and all out scolding) me for being unkind for posting said entry behind my friend's back. And yes, in retrospect it was unkind for me to do it behind my friend's back, but the honesty (or at least what I feel is honesty, but that could merely be my own point of view) behind it hasn't changed.
I don't want to be cruel to this person, mostly that goes against my nature, but I feel that perhaps a little cruelty might just open my friend's eyes. A sentiment of being "cruel to be kind" to help this person realize that no matter how much we may wish it not to be true, things do change. And that the real world is not always going to be nice and pleasant.
I never meant to be deliberately unkind by posting that entry. It was mostly just to vent the frustration I feel towards my friend. Perhaps that's a sign to dig out my diary (it's floating around the spare bedroom somewhere) and write those kinds of thoughts there because while there are "private" areas of the Internet, it's not ALL private.
no subject
no subject
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It is venting if, when you are done speaking, you feel better. And when you are done venting you are done, and you don't need to say any of it again.
It is dwelling if you feel the same way you did when you started, or if you feel angrier/more frustrated/worse. When you dwell you repeat yourself, or paraphrase, and cover the same topic over and over.
Venting is very healthy and people should do it whenever they feel the need (and the venue is appropriate). Dwelling is not.
no subject
no subject